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The opening audio clip is from the 1989 movie When Harry met Sally and the voice is that of Meg Ryan
One fear that prevents many people from enjoying oral sex is the question of cleanliness. An easy and enjoyable way of overcoming this problem is to shower together before sex. Use an unscented soap to wash one another with. Afterwards, use a fine comb to remove any loose pubic hairs. Bedroom lighting should be low (reflect the light from the ceiling). I've found incandescent lighting the best. The temperature should be comfortable and the mood relaxed. Make sure there are fresh sheets on the bed and have a couple of towels handy.
It's important to have a good understanding of the sex organs and the names of the various parts if you want to become proficient at oral sex. Communication between sex partners is very important and basic anatomical knowledge makes that communication much easier. Only 21% of men know where the clitoris is (source: "Pocket Sex Guide", by Anne Hooper, reported in Vogue (U.S.) May, 1994) and I found that many of my male friends only had a foggy notion where "things" were located.
Fellatio or stimulation of the penis using the mouth is one of the most intense, exciting experiences that a woman can give a man. Internally the body of the penis is composed of three cylinders of erectile tissue bound together by tough, fiberous tissue. The erectile tissue is composed of many tiny blood vessels arranged in random coils. The penis is capped with a pink, acorn shaped tip called the glans. A sleeve of skin, the foreskin, naturally covers the glans but is sometimes removed in an operation called circumcision. During stimulation the cylinders of erectile tissue fill with blood. The small blood vessels fill with blood causing the penis to become stiff and double or triple in size. An erect penis measures on average about 6.5 inches, the longest penis we've heard about in an official, well-documented survey was 10 inches, the shortest was one inch (erect measurements).
If you don't like the idea of oral sex, try using a condom. Condoms also provide extra protection against sexually transmitted diseases. Many shops carry condoms with flavoured lubricants but be careful; some of these flavoured condoms may be classed as novelties and not subject to the same standards as regular condoms.
Although there are many positions for fellatio, we have found three that are especially good. The first is probably the most common; the man on his back, with the woman on top. This position offers easy access to all parts of the penis, but may be uncomfortable for extended periods, especially on a soft mattress. In the second position both the man and woman lie on their sides facing one another with the woman's head at the level of his penis. One or two pillows under her head raises her mouth to the proper level for fellatio. This position is restful for both partners but restricts their range of movement somewhat. This position is recommended for beginners. The third position is with the woman seated on a low chair or stool. The man stradles the chair to bring his penis to the level of his partner's mouth. This position tends to be more exciting and allows the man more control, but requires a bit more experience. You should experiment with other positions as well, using pillows where needed for comfort.
The man can place his hands lightly on the back of the woman's head to provide guidance. Lightly stroking the woman's ear or earlobe with the forefinger can provide stimulation for the woman. Try massaging her forehead; run your thumbs from the center of her forehead outward, ending at the temples with a small circular stroke. Repeat.
Women inexperienced in fellatio often don't apply enough pressure to the penis. Concentrate mainly on the glans penis and use your tongue and lips to provide firm pressure on the penis. Try lightly nibbling on the frenum (the loose pucker of skin on the underside of the glans penis) or nibble on the tip of the glans. Pinch the glans lightly between your teeth; be very careful not to use too much pressure or you may damage the delicate skin. To stimulate the shaft of the penis use your lips to maintain a firm pressure on the shaft while you slide it back and forth in your mouth.
If your partner is uncircumcised, try taking the foreskin covered glans penis fully into your mouth. Retract the foreskin while the glans is inside your mouth by gently and slowly pulling on the skin covering the shaft with your fingers. You can also retract the foreskin by applying firm pressure with your lips to the skin on the shaft while pushing the glans penis deeper into your mouth. Suck on the penis while pressing your tongue upwards against the underside of the glans. Another area to stimulate is the meatus ("pee hole"). Hold the shaft of the penis in your hand and use the tip of your tongue to gently massage the meatus and frenum in a circular motion.
For added stimulation lightly grasp the scrotum at the top where it joins the base of the penis. Use your thumb and index finger to encircle it. Gently shake the scrotum as you fellate his penis.
You can add extra excitment to fellatio by using the following method to increase the sensitivity of the glans penis. Strike the glans lightly and rapidly with the flat side of the fingernail of your forefinger. The forefinger should be "flicked" from the thumb against the surface of the glans while holding the shaft in your other hand; resume fellatio immediately.
You may wish to reduce the sensitivity of your partner's penis, to lengthen the amount of foreplay. Soak a small washcloth in water and wring out most of the water so that it remains damp (not dripping). Place the damp washcloth in a small bowl filled with ice to chill it. Use the chilled washcloth to cool your partner's glans penis, rubbing gently in small circles. Alternately cool and fellate your partner's penis.
If you want to reduce the sensitivity of the penis while using a condom, try using two or purchase the extra thick condoms that are designed for anal sex. By providing more thickness, it will mute the intensity and prolong the experience. Suck on a mint if you find the taste of the condom disagreeable; the mint will help to mask the taste of the latex.
To control the ejaculation during fellatio, hold the penis with the forefinger wrapped over the top of the shaft near the base of the penis. Just before ejaculation, (have your partner signal you when he is feels about to ejaculate) use your thumb to compress the urethra at the base of the penis where it meets the scrotum (the underside of the penis). The urethra can be compressed against the erect corpus cavernosum. This is a modification the the Masters & Johnson squeeze technique which itself is a modification of an earlier technique developed in the late 1950's. The idea is NOT to physically prevent the ejaculation but to create a sensory feedback that makes the man physically aware of this part of his body. In this way he is more able to control the ejaculation. Approximately 30% to 60% of the erection will be lost, but erection can quite easily be obtained again. The squeezing should be firm not hard (unlike the Masters & Johnson technique which advocates squeezing the glans penis with lots of pressure), but should be rhythmic (about two firm squeezes per second). Benefits of this technique are: the penis does not have to be removed from the mouth and the fingers wrapped over the shaft allow easy, comfortable control of the penis.
At the front of the vulva is a pad of fat, the mons veneris, usually covered with pubic hair. The two outer lips, called the labia majora, extend back from the mons. Inside are two smaller lips, the labia minora and these come together near the front where they join to form the frenulum of the clitoris. Most of the clitoris is buried under the skin, the only visible part being the glans clitoris covered by the prepuce. The labia minora and the clitoris are the most sensitive parts of the vulva. Both the clitoris and the labia minora are made of erectile tissue and become engorged with blood during stimulation. Extending out from the clitoris and around the vagina are the bulbs of the vestibule, two oblong masses of erectile tissue underneath the vulva which expand during stimulation.
If you don't like the idea of oral sex, try using a dental dam. A dental dam is a thin piece of latex sheeting that is placed over the vulva. The latex transmits body heat and touch sensation but prevents actual mouth/vulva contact. Should you find the taste of latex a problem, placing a breath mint in your mouth will mask the taste of the latex. Dental dams can be purchased from some drug stores and many sex shops or through mail order.
There are two primary positions which are suitable for cunnilingus. One is with the woman lying on her back with her legs drawn up and spread. It's best to place a couple of pillows under her hips to raise them slightly. The man lies between her legs and then places his arms under the legs bringing his hands up to gently support the buttocks. Using the pillows tilts the pelvis so the clitoris and labia can be easily stimulated without straining the neck.
The other position is with the man on his back and the woman kneeling over his face with one leg on each side. This position has the advantage that the woman can control which part of the vulva is stimulated simply by bending or straightening up. A pillow placed under the man's head will raise it slightly and provide more comfort.
A woman's vulva is much more sensitive to pressure than the penis, and a gentle, slow approach is the best. At the height of arrousal, the clitoris will become fully erect and extremely sensitive. At this time, the clitoris will usually pull back under the prepuce. You should move to other areas of the vulva, since the clitoris may become painful to touch. In fact, in many women the clitoris (especially the glans clitoris) is so sensitive that you should only stimulate it indirectly by touching, rubbing and sucking adjoining areas (i.e. the labia or mons).
There is no one correct method of cunnilingus; all women are different and prefer different amounts of stimulation. When you start, take one or both of her hands and place them on your head so she can give you a bit of direction. Begin by very gently stroking the labia minora with the tip of your tongue. Start at the vagina and move toward the clitoris. When you reach the clitoris, move your tongue around it in one or two small circles and then stroke back toward the vagina. Do this several times, and apply the pressure very lightly with your tongue. Move slowly. You'll be able to tell, from vaginal secretions and the swelling of the labia if you're on the right track. Keep moving up and down the vulva, probing a little deeper with your tongue each time. Try rolling the shaft of the clitoris with your tongue for more stimulation. The shaft of the clitoris is buried under the skin and feels somewhat like a rubbery cord.
Some women enjoy having the vulva sucked. Cover the vulva with your open mouth; try to get a good seal between your lips and her labia majora. Now suck. You'll feel the clitoris and labia minora expanding into your mouth where you can play with them using your tongue. The labia minora and clitoris usually swell about three times in size and the suction will draw nearly all of the labia into your mouth. This tends to be quite pleasant stimulation for the woman since your saliva automatically lubricates her. One word of caution here: NEVER blow air into the vulva or vagina, there has been at least one case of death due to air embolism from air being forced into the vagina.
Some women enjoy vaginal stimulation during cunnilingus. Place your tongue in the vaginal opening and lick in a slow, circular motion. Muscles located at the entrance to the vagina transmit the movement to the clitoris and other parts of the vulva. The outer third of the vagina is the most sensitive so you don't need a long tongue to be effective. While you're there, stimulate the urinary opening very lightly with the tip of your tongue.